I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
