i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
