Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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