How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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