this boner is exhausting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
