i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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