We won't sleep together?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
