I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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