got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
