it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
