so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
