I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
