Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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