The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
