His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
