Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
are you so shy because you have an std?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
