he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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