so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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