Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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