Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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