Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
