its not stalking. its research.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
