He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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