I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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