We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
