I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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