In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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