69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize