"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
