just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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