Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize