I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
