I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
