There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
