Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize