Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
