Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
