I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
