jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize