I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
