Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
