I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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