If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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