It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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