please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
