You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize