Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
