Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
