I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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