Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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