yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Is it because I queefed?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I need moral support for this bender
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
