Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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