Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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