butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
