For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize