Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
