It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
