All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My pussy is not your playground.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He better not be in your backpack
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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