I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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