I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
love makes seman taste better
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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