I got chris browned last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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