What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
